Well two days in a row of walking. And still no eating after 8pm!!! I enjoy walking the track way more than I ever thought. I started walking the Corona Track in 2004 as I was trying to get pregnant with Beth. (Yes, Wayne and I were trying other things as well) I knew if I lost a few pounds that there was a chance I would get pregnant. I was excited when I got down to 325 pounds. Now that number sounds so awful. I guess going from a high that I know about of 385 pounds to a low last October of 238 pounds. Seems crazy. There is so much work that goes into losing the weight that I am disappointed in myself that I gained so much back. But today is a new day. But I found that if you watch “Drop Dead Diva” while walking on the treadmill, you can walk faster. I love Brooke Elliot, she is my motivation. There is a whole new world out there for single women.
I have mentioned before I have been watching Extreme Make Over Weight Loss, so this week the young woman lost 202 pounds in 1 year. I was Thrilled!!! Because if she could do it so could I. Now granted she started about 130 pounds higher than I am. But the goal of losing 200 pounds in one year is still the goal. I was so excited as I watched her transformation. She was hitting her goals and was making the progress I want to see in myself. Then like a TON OF BRICKS, she said “Working out 5 hours a day for 6 days a week for the past year was worth it” My heart sank. There was no way that I could fit 5 hours of working out into my schedule. Yes, I can and should exercise everyday. But I am a Mom. I like being able to read books with my kids at night. (New Favorite, Tear Soup) I like being able to make dinner for my kids and hear them laugh. I like hearing Ben tell me about Pokémon, (just like Bert did when he was 9. They have the same excitement in their voice. I treasure it knowing that Ben will be a man, oh so soon. Just like his amazing brother Bert.) I like watching Beth do her own hair. And hear her ask Ben about Pokémon, so she can feel included. The extra 5 hours away from them is not worth it. But is it worth it to them to have an obese parent? There lies the true question. What am I willing to sacrifice to set the best example for them? That is yet to be determined. The other question is, Will there be anyone willing to help me lose the weight?
Goals for the day-
- Swim 20 laps. I haven’t done that since 1983. We will see what happens.
- Start the Food Journal. I hate this step because it forces me to be accountable. Something I hate more than anything in the whole wide world.
- Find 5 reasons why I want to make this change.
- Read “Tear Soup” again with the kids. Handling Grief is part of a healthy lifestyle
- Give forgiveness freely, if I would like to be forgiven.