Monday, June 27, 2011

Baby Steps, and the Truth

I feel that I am taking some LIFE STEPS or baby steps in this process of finally losing ALL the weight. With that being said, I am feeling pretty good that I haven’t eaten after 8 pm for 2 days in a row. I know it might sound crazy but it is a start.  I needed to do better on working out this weekend but I was able to set up the treadmill and lap top. I believe that is a great combination. Anytime I can get on the treadmill, I am happy.

Compared to last year when losing weight seemed to be so easy, this time is different. One, I have a job. That has taken up a lot of my workout time. Second, learning how to deal with the fact that I am a single mother. (In my eyes that makes me a HUGE failure. BUT there was no other choice but to get a divorce) So bring on the comfort food. Third, I felt like I was being held accountable each week by trying to win the Nutriiveda Challenge. (Yes, It Bob from Biggest Loser- "It is not about a weight loss contest, It is about fixing what is broken" I believe that if I could have fixed what was broken last year maybe I wouldn't have gained any weight since last October, and would be celebrating the fact that I had lost over 200 pounds. I believe someday I will celebrate that mile stone.)

So what I did this morning to start my day off right was to drink my NEW favorite Nutriiveda Shake.  It is Carrot Tops, (The green part of the carrot. I would be such a brat if I didn’t Thank Eliisa & Rhett for growing Carrots in their garden. To buy fresh organic carrots with the tops on is about $3.75 for 6.Way to expensive) About a cup full. I like to cut them up pretty short so that it doesn’t eat up my blender. Then I put about a cup of Spinach Leaves, (I now have to use store bought because there is no more in the garden. I cannot say it enough, NOTHING in the World TASTES as good as garden fresh Veggies) I put in about 4-5 Frozen Strawberries, a handful of ice and Blend. It is sweet without any extra sugar. It is filling. It also tastes great. (Looks so gross!)

I also made sure that there was water to drink  at my desk so that I would drink it before eating any of the lunch that I had brought to work. Now if I would have only drank it.

I am excited tonight to go workout at the CDS Track. There is a comfort for me to be on that track. I feel safe there.  I feel that is a place that helps me to lose the weight.

The biggest thing for me to admit and accept is that I am an addict. I believe that is why I love that poem. I have attended 12 Step Meetings for almost 3 years now. One thing has been clear to me. Even though I believed when I first started going to the meetings there was nothing wrong with me, I soon realized and admitted that I had some addictions. At times I have been able to beat some of them, and other times I lose to them badly.  I was addicted to booze. And I have been sober for 19 years and 11 months. It will be almost 20 years. But the truth is that I am a Poly-addict. What that means is that I can be addicted to both good and bad things, or many things at once. I have been known to be addicted to work, addicted to TV, addicted to Face book games, addicted to my children’s success and happiness, and I have also been addicted to going to the Temple, reading my scriptures, or doing my calling. SO what does that have to do with the diet? EVERYTHING, I am addicted to food and sometimes would and do  eat to feel numb, feel loved, feel in control, or just because I am bored. It is something that I have worked on for a while. I like it better when I am addicted to working out. The reason, then I burn of calories. I lose weight. I feel stronger, powerful, amazing, and to some degree a success. I feel loved because everyone wants to be around a winner. I would even say including myself. As people we have a knack for judging others because of what they look like, how they talk, what they think; way before we even get to know them as people. That is something beside the pounds that I want to change. I believe that for me to lose the weight, besides having clear cut goals.  I have to find the positive in people, in my friends, in my kids, and in myself. Maybe it is just me that believes that the world can be changed to a better place for me and my kids.

So I must move forward, any improvement is a better than no improvement. I believe that Walt Disney is correct. I am now leading myself down a new path.

The goal for the week, it pretty cut and dry. Walk more, Eat less, Sleep More, Be more positive, and keep a food journal. (It is what works the best, but the hardest to accomplish. Yet really the easiest)

This Wednesday Night from 6-8pm, is Family Night at West Chandler Pool. I am hoping to swim 20 laps that night. Or play with the kids in the water for an hour while treading water. It was one heck of a workout last week.

Tuesday Night, I am back to the 2 hour workout at the Corona Track. The goal is from 6:30-8:30pm I will try to walk 4 miles or more.

Tonight from 7:30-9:30pm at the Corona Track we are playing games with the kids while walking. Ben likes to kick his soccer ball the whole way around the track.

I know that to some having me explain my thoughts is CRAZY. But to others know I am hoping you will join me so that I can reach my goal of losing 50 pounds by September 21st.

Now when should I weigh in this week????? When will I have the mind of a Champion?

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